Fool's Courtship
by Helkh
Summary: Kijin discovers that older shikigami only come crazy. Reasons include his father's affair with Genbu, Byakko's Dragon obsession and Kurikara spending too much time with his swords. Not that Kijin finds Touda unattractive. Quite the opposite, really.


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**Fool's Courtship**  
In which Kijin learns things about his father that could destroy him..

  
_Heisei 16, 2nd moon 14th day_

I tried. I really tried. Knowing my Father's ways, I set out to kill Kurikara. I meant to destroy him completely. If I had been in complete control of my facilities, I would have realized how bloody stupid that was. When I did realise this, we had already fought. Sort of, since he wasn't even paying attention to me at the time.

Which was fortunate for me. Very fortunate. I cannot express the level of deadness I'd be in right now if he had put the slightest bit of effort into killing me. So, I'll say again, I was very fortunate. Got that? Great. Let's move on.

Father showed up soon after Hisoka disappeared, raging and roaring and throwing around rather impressive water spells.

After that, everything is jumbled.

So that's all I really remember about the 'final showdown', so to speak. Funny thing is, both of them ended up crashing at the mansion, licking their wounds and simmering. The main problem was that they were both in the same building.

Actually, it's still the main problem. For everyone else, that is. Kurikara told me he isn't fighting with Father anymore, and that the entire war of yesteryear was over some petty argument he couldn't remember the source of. Byakko isn't as polite as I am, so he was the one that said some choice words on the subject. Things like 'load of phoenix dung', and 'all Dragons are desperate, aren't they, you bastard'. I think he likes Father. Anyway, it's normal to see bits of the mansion on fire or flooded. The maids are getting quite angry.

Suzaku and Tsuzuki have been hanging around here, waiting for the boy to show up.

He's been gone for two weeks. To me, this isn't a good sign, but Kurikara doesn't seem to care either way. That also isn't a good sign, as it likely means Hisoka is slowly burning in a lake of mildly diluted acid.

Touda is currently hiding from the government and Tenkuu is being decidedly unpleasant about the whole thing. He's threatening to tell the Emperor. This, of course, angers Kurikara.

Which is why I smell the west gardens burning.

So, all in all, my life is not very comfortable right now. Especially right now. Just this morning, I overheard Father arguing with Genbu about what to do with the Emperor. 

I personally think we should leave him alone. Father doesn't agree, apparently. The conversation went something like this:

'Killing solves all of my problems. Why should this be any different?'

'I thought you supported the Emperor, Sou-chan.'

'Kurikara's presence complicates things.'

'Between us, you mean.'

'In so many words..'

'We can't merely start a war over this. He commands this entire section of Gensoukai!'

'Details, details. Kill them all!'

'You and what plague?'

'Byakko will work. He's pestilential enough for the task.'

'I think you're still hurt over the last war.'

'Kurikara was hitting on you. Therefore I had to go after him.'

'It was very sweet at the time, but you can't do it again!'

It went on like that for some time, I imagine, but I left at that point, feeling very guilty. And very horrified.

A little later, I confronted Kurikara about his relationship with Genbu. He heard me out in a very dignified fashion, then all hell broke loose. Suzaku had overheard and declared that she 'knew it all along'. Then they started fighting.

Let me tell you, fire does not fight fire well. In fact, it turns into an inferno and burns my rooms to the ground. I could only just stand (at a safe distance) and watch my belongings blacken and curl.

I then noticed that I hadn't seen Byakko all day. He's usually hanging around Father, exhibiting his willingness to humiliate himself.

I didn't see him until dinner, until Baaya came running into the dining hall, pointing frantically at the door and wheezing. Poor woman is too old for strenuous things like bolting from the courtyard. Or maybe she was merely speechless. Anyway, Father got up and stalked out.

Naturally, everyone followed.

There sat Byakko, gleaming in the moonlight, on top of a very dead-looking Dragon. I don't know how he managed to kill it.

There was 'dead' silence for about five minutes. Even Tsuzuki had nothing to say.

When Byakko had decided everyone was stunned enough to shut up long enough for him to speak, he reverted to human form and dropped into a fancy bow. 'To commemorate this day of love, I have brought a gift to his lordship, Souryuu. The dead carcass of the Kouryuu, Emperor, who has shown himself to be a traitor to the will and wishes of the people. He is now dead.' He stood up again, looking very serious.

Touda couldn't hide his vengeful smirk during the nervous silence after Byakko's announcement. Everyone seemed to be anticipating the imperial army's appearance. It didn't come.

Then, to my shock (and everyone else's, I'd wager), Father grabbed Byakko around the waist and kissed him soundly. He turned a triumphant glare upon Genbu's open-mouthed look and grinned.

I think that's what made Tsuzuki faint. Or it might have been the fact Kurikara began rather openly to comfort the distressed Genbu.

I know now that I will never, ever sleep again and will post a guard outside my rooms. Hopefully Touda will take me up on it. I mean, the man doesn't know his own beauty.

Don't think I don't know what you're thinking. If everyone else has gone insane, why can't I? I'm a Dragon, after all, and therefore very, very desperate. Just ask Byakko. If you can find him a crutch so he can walk after what Father is doing to him, that is. 

That train of thought just made me a little crazier. Just you wait. I'll be courting one of Kurikara's swords one of these days. And I'll actually get laid, unlike Kurikara. So ha.

  



End file.
